I created this blog in an effort to be me, to have a private place to put my thoughts -- "private" being ironic - since this is the World Wide Web... but hey, it works for now.
So, I'm young, just starting my life out - and I'm feeling empty. Maybe we all start out like that, and only a few of us realize that... and I guess I'm going to go with the analogy of "filling up" your life... which reminds me of a story a teacher once shared with everyone in class in high school. She brought in a bucket, and basically rattled off her life story -- and every experience, the good, and the bad - and the people in it, good and bad -- she would place water in her bucket. --- Basically saying our life is one big bucket of experience that shapes us into we are. -- Well, let us just say that I'm feeling like my bucket has a huge gaping hole in it... lol --
I've tried filling that void with religion, and well, I turned more spiritual than anything out of that adventure... I have found that religion can be a manipulative tool used by well, a manipulative person, people, or governments. Personally, I don't like being manipulated... especially when it involves scare tactics to me to make me do something, or not do something. "You're going to fiery pits of hell if..." Religion, like that, restricts thinking for yourself... and I'm not a big fan of that.
I've tried filling it with a relationship, and I've found that relationships are a bunch of -- "you didn't do this, and you did this..." --- failed expectations. Exhausting, I might add...
Also, tried filling it with a bunch of senseless stranger sex, mind-altering drugs, and rock and roll... LoL -- I wish I had such an interesting life, but it's a little too destructive for me... (However, I do love my rock and roll...)
*sighs*
So, I guess I just have to get used to this stupid empty bucket... because I'm cynical, and most likely, blue, oh so blue today.
